By Henry Herz
From Goblins & Galaxies #4 Summer 2026
CEO Chris beamed. LiveAction’s stock had never traded higher. Ten years ago, he’d managed to finagle a bachelor’s degree from Wharton, primarily by shameless cheating on exams and leveraging his good looks to copy the homework of female students smarter than him. He fidgeted through status reports presented by his COO, CFO, CIO, chief human resources officer, and chief marketing officer.
The last, a curvaceous blonde in her late-twenties, neared the end of her presentation. “BLADE, our new ‘bloodless live-action dungeon experience’ facility is killing it. Guests overwhelmingly find the automated park’s use of costumed AI-controlled robots and holograms for live action role-playing incredibly realistic.”
Chris stood. “Thanks, Diana. To celebrate our record revenues and gross margins, I’ve arranged a reservation for the six of us at the BLADE facility the Thursday after next at 10 a.m. I booked the entire facility.”
“Sounds like a great team-building exercise,” said Linda, the CHRO.
Bill, the gray-haired CFO, grinned, but no joy reached his blue eyes.
Worried about lost revenue, Bill? thought Chris. Jeez, take off the accountant shades once in a while.
Chris continued. “I want us to share as an adventuring group the visceral experience of exploring BLADE.”
“Hooah,” replied Mark, the COO, a tall man in his early forties, with short brown hair.
Frank, the CIO, was a short, thin, balding man in his mid-fifties. He added, “It’ll be great to get the end-user perspective. Plus, I’ve been a D&D player since I was a teenager.”
You’re smart as hell, but such a dork.
Linda closed her laptop. “Do we need to wear anything in particular?”
Chris admired the slender, brown-eyed long-haired brunette. You certainly could. “Just wear jeans and comfortable long-sleeve shirts. The venue will suit us up with the appropriate gear. I’ve taken the liberty of assigning personas. I’ll lead our group as an elf fighter. Mark’ll be a human barbarian. Bill, as CFO, it seems only fitting you play a human thief.”
“Very funny, boss.”
Chris continued. “Frank will be a halfling cleric.” ‘Cause you’re short. Get it? “Linda can play a dwarf paladin. After all, CHRO’s are always worried about doing the right thing.” I crack myself up. “Diana will be an elf wizard. I’ll email you the orientation document so you know what to expect and how things work. Meeting adjourned.”
*~*~*
A young woman dressed as a sorcerer led the six LiveAction executives into the BLADE orientation area, a re-creation of a medieval tavern. “My name’s Wendi. For an uninterrupted dungeon experience, please surrender any mobile phones or other electronic devices.”
Six men dressed in the coarse, roughly sewn fabrics of feudal peasants pushed heavily laden wooden wheelbarrows into the tavern. Among the medieval gear lay six exoskeletons. Each comprised a backpack power source connected to jointed kevlar tubes extending from shoulder to wrist and from hip to ankle.
Wendi tapped a wheelbarrow. “These are a critical technology for making this a safe and immersive experience. When locked to your arms and legs, the exoskeleton measures and controls how hard you can strike something. Advanced software will immobilize a limb to simulate injury should your character take damage.”
Wendi pointed. “We have video cameras and holographic projectors secreted throughout the dungeon. Attacks from monster breath weapons, missile weapons, and spells are simulated using 3-D holographic projection. Our software tracks your accumulated damage. Healing spells cast by your cleric, Frank, and drinking healing potions ‘cures’ simulated damage, restoring limb mobility.”
Wendi gestured at laminated cards taped on Diana’s and Frank’s left forearms. “That’s a list of your available magic spells, what they do, and the number of times you’re allowed to cast them during your adventure. Just say ‘I cast’ followed by the name of the spell, and the system’s voice recognition will trigger the appropriate holographic projection.” Wendi picked up a silver ring from one of the wheelbarrows. “Magic items work similarly. You notify the system you’re using an item by saying ‘I activate’ followed by the item name.”
Wendi nodded at Chris, Linda, and Diana. “Those of you playing elves or dwarves have the ability to see in darkness via night vision goggles. Those of you playing humans need a torch to see in the dark. For safety, torch flames are also holographic. Holograms are also used for incorporeal creatures like ghosts or hazards like poison gas. But a more immersive experience overall is achieved by having robots wearing rubber and fur costumes to look like monsters physically attack the players.”
“Um, physically attack?” asked Frank.
What a pussy, thought Chris.
“Don’t worry,” replied Wendi. “Software controls how hard monsters strike.”
Bill pointed to a numbered dial on the left shoulder of the exoskeleton. “What does this do?”
Wendi smiled. “That lets you set your pain threshold for the sake of realism when something strikes you. The exoskeleton delivers an electrical shock. Setting the dial to one is the mildest, like a pinprick, and ten the strongest, like a slap in the face.” She continued. “Each of you will be given a Bluetooth headset for communicating with the AI dungeon master, or DM, to indicate you’re attempting to employ special character skills, like picking a lock or moving silently.”
Fifteen minutes later, the executives gawked at each other. Chris wore chainmail and was armed with a longsword and longbow. A horned helmet sat atop Mark’s head. He wielded a two-handed battle axe and wore a fur-lined leather vest. A rapier, coil of rope, and set of thieves’ tools hung from Bill’s wide belt. Segmented leather armor protected his torso, shoulders, and forearms.
Wendi pointed at Chris’s longbow. “You haven’t been issued any arrows. That’s another safety feature. Just aim and pull your bowstring to activate a holographic arrow shot.”
“Cool,” said Frank, admiring his scale armor and a war hammer. A star-shaped fictitious holy symbol hung from his neck. His belt pouch held two flasks of ‘holy water.’
Linda stood decked out in a full suite of plate armor, including a visored helmet. She hefted a longsword and a shield emblazoned with the same holy symbol. “This is surprisingly light.”
“Yes,” agreed Wendi. “The armor and shield are kevlar. Ditto for all your weapons, which have dulled edges and points for safety.” She winked. “And to reduce physical damage to our robots. The weapons also have accelerometers to measure how hard you swing. Harder swings inflict more game damage.”
Diana grasped a wooden “magic” staff almost as tall as she. She twirled to show off her long azure wizard’s robes inscribed with silver arcane sigils.
“Please follow me.” Wendi led the group outside to a nearby manmade cavern. At the rear stood an open stone door and a broad staircase. “Good luck.”
Once the executives passed through the door, it boomed shut. The door’s bolt slid home.
Chris pointed. “Bill, as the party’s thief, you’re up front, followed by the warriors – me, Linda, and Mark. Frank and Diana follow us. Frank, as the cleric, you protect our wizard Diana and make sure nothing sneaks up behind us.”
The group advanced down a flight of rough-hewn stone steps, illumination provided by two wall-mounted torches. Cobwebs covered the low ceiling. The staircase ended at a moldy wooden door, a crude death’s head outline carved in its surface.
Bill grasped the doorknob. “It’s locked.”
“Want me to try to kick in the door?” offered Mark.
Frank shook his head. “Hold on, Mark. Bill, you’re our thief. You have special skills, remember?”
“Right.” Bill nodded. “I try to pick the lock,” he notified the virtual dungeon master.
BLADE’s AI responded in Bill’s headset with a synthesized voice sounding like Cate Blanchett. “Dexterity test passed.” The door lock clicked.
Bill eased open the door to reveal a hallway without illumination. “I can’t make out the far end.”
Chris stepped forward. “No problem. Elves and dwarves can see in the dark.” He peered down the hallway using his NVG. “The corridor’s four feet wide, straight and level.”
Bill and Frank grabbed torches from the staircase.
Bill led the group to the end of the hallway which ended in three closed doors, one directly in front and one on either side wall. He raised a finger to his lips to signal for quiet, whispering, “I listen at the left-hand door.”
“You hear nothing,” came the BLADE AI’s reply.
“I listen at the right-hand door.”
“You hear booted feet milling about.”
Bill’s eyes widened, and he gesturing at the right-hand door. “I check for traps.”
“You find none,” echoed in Bill’s headset.
He tried the doorknob, stopping the moment he felt no resistance. Bill whispered, “Something’s in there. The door’s unlocked.”
Chris whispered, “Bill, you’re rearguard now. Frank, give your torch to Diana. Mark and Linda go in first. While we fight, Diana will cast spells.” He sheathed his sword and unslung his longbow.
Excitement showed on everyone’s faces like kids readying for trick-or-treating.
At Chris’s nod, Mark threw open the door to reveal a rectangular room, fifteen feet wide and twice that deep, with a closed door in the far wall. Crude wooden cots, tables, and chairs suggested a disorganized barracks. The space smelled like a gym locker room. In the center of the room stood a life-sized jade statue of a goblin, green-skinned just like the dozen four-foot-tall goblin warriors milling about the room.
The party charged into the room, evoking snarls from the wart-faced goblins as they drew their jagged-edged scimitars.
A two-handed swing of Mark’s battle axe took out the first goblin.
Three goblins ganged up on Linda, slavering as their swords rained blows on her shield and plate armor.
Chris slipped to the side for a better firing angle. He took out one of Linda’s attackers with a holographic arrow to the throat.
Recovering from the shock of seeing realistic combat, Diana pointed at Linda’s remaining assailants and shouted, “I cast magic missiles at the goblins fighting Linda.” Glowing holographic darts leaped from the head of her staff, striking down the creatures.
Another goblin crept up from behind and slashed its weapon at Diana.
An instinctive last-second dodge caused the blow to miss her chest, striking her left forearm instead. “Damnit.” Diana’s torch tumbled to the ground, and her exoskeleton administered a level-five electrical shock. “Ouch!” The device immobilized her arm. “Help!” she screamed as the leering goblin readied another blow.
Bill stabbed her attacker with his rapier.
The vicious combat continued until all twelve goblins lay motionless on the stone floor.
“Anyone hurt?” asked Frank, play-acting his clerical healing role.
Diana raised her uninjured arm.
Frank pointed. “I cast cure wounds on Diana.”
Diana sighed, flexing her arm. “Ah, thanks.” She adjusted her control dial down to level three.
Chris patted Diana’s shoulder. “Well done, everyone. Search the room for treasure.”
*~*~*
Since LiveAction’s founding, Debbie Wilson served as lead software architect. Having worked absurdly long hours and played a critical role in the system’s development, Debbie rightfully expected to reap a life-changing grant of stock options when the company went public. Instead, the CEO used a legal loophole to avoid making expensive payouts to her and several other personnel – the wham, bam, thank you ma’am consistent with Chris’s life philosophy.
Debbie didn’t quit her job like the others. Instead, she gradually made a number of covert changes to the system software. She spent fourteen months seething as she plotted, researched, and prepared to exact her revenge. Once all elements of the scheme were in place, Debbie resigned from her software position.
Two months later, she applied for an entry-level “Experience Guide” position using forged documents.
No one in a customer-facing department recognized a former member of the IT team, particularly after Debbie cut and colored her hair, and wore padded clothing that made her appear heavier than before.
Over the next few months, she demonstrated competency at her new role and became authorized to guide customer adventures without supervision. At that point, Debbie sent an email to the CEO under her false name, suggesting the idea of the company executives experiencing their latest high-tech attraction first-hand.
*~*~*
Debbie sat alone at a computer console in the highly automated BLADE control center. Multiple monitors lining the wall in front of her displayed the dungeon rooms and corridors. She served as the “experience guide” for the group of LiveAction executives, her employee badge bearing her fake ID.
“Payback time.” She shut off all recording by the security cameras. A grim smile on her face, she breached system security through one of the trapdoors she’d installed months earlier. Debbie adjusted the system safety protocols and locked all dungeon exits. “I could mess with them from here, but it’ll be so much sweeter to see the looks on their faces in person.”
Completing the system configurations, Debbie took a BLADE control tablet computer and walked to the wardrobe storage room. She put on an exoskeleton and dressed as a warrior in chainmail, a barbute helmet masking most of her face. A hand axe and large leather pouch hung from her belt. She removed the CEO’s mobile phone from a bin holding all the executives’ phones.
*~*~*
Underneath a coarse, stained blanket, Bill found a small wooden chest bound with iron bands. He grinned and knelt, reaching for the unlocked hasp. “Hey, I think I found something.”
“Wait! Did you check for—” shouted Frank as Bill opened the chest.
“Trap activated,” announced the AI in Bill’s headset. “Player’s saving throw failed. A spring-loaded poisoned needle pricked your hand.”
“Shit.” Bill lost his balance and slipped to the floor as the exoskeleton slowly but irresistibly extended his legs and crossed his arms over his chest until he lay posed like a mummy.
“Well, I just got poisoned. A little help.” Fortunately for Bill, he’d set his electrical shock dial to one.
Chris strode over, glanced in the strongbox, and scowled. “It’s empty.”
“I cast cure wounds on Bill,” Frank declared.
Bill frowned. “Hmm. I still can’t move.”
“It could be the simulated damage is too severe.” Frank removed a flask from his belt pouch. “Maybe this’ll work. I give Bill holy water.”
“I still can’t move my arms or legs.”
Sighing, Frank replied, “I think that means you’re dead.”
Chris scowled. “Great. Now we’re without a thief. Frank, help me carry Bill.”
“What happens if we run into more monsters?” asked Linda.
Chris shrugged. “Not if. When. We drop Bill and draw our weapons.”
“Or, you set Bill down carefully,” the CFO corrected.
“Ha. Don’t be such a stiff.” Chris pointed at the door on the far end of the room, perhaps six feet wide and eight feet high. “Mark and Linda in front, me and Frank carry Bill in the center, and Diana brings up the rear.”
Mark advanced to the door, placing one ear against the rough-grained wood. “I hear water trickling.” He eased open the door to reveal a hexagon-shaped room. Each twenty-foot-wide wall featured a large door in its center. Irregular slate flagstones covered the floor. Thick, red wax candles burned from sconces on either side of each door. A three-foot high, six-foot wide hexagonal marble basin occupied the middle of the room. From its center rose a bronze sculpture of a fierce dragon. A viscous red fluid flowed from the dragon’s open jaws.
Diana’s face wrinkled. “A blood fountain? Nasty.”
“Should we choose a door?” asked Frank. “This room’s empty, and Bill’s not getting any lighter.”
“Well,” replied Bill, “there might be loot within the fountain basin.”
Diana shook her head. “Hold on. I’m not sticking my hand in there. It might not be real blood, but there could be eels or some other nasty thing hiding in there.”
“Good point.” Chris drew his sword. “Linda, let’s poke around with our swords.”
A thunderous boom rattled the door on the far side of the room.
At a second boom, the door flew open, pieces of the shattered lock tumbling onto the floor. In the doorway stood something built like a mountain gorilla. Except gorillas aren’t seven feet tall, five feet wide at the shoulder, with mottled grey skin. Its hideous face featured an oversized nose and ears. The creature wore a tattered green loincloth and smelled like ass.
“A troll!” Frank yelled.
It roared, charging into the room before the party could organize a defense. The troll backhanded the COO so hard he tumbled into a wall, his weapon and horned helmet clattering to the floor with him.
“Hit it with spells!” Chris screamed as he slashed at a leg, ducking a clawed swipe from the troll.
It roared again, moving toward Linda. She deflected a troll punch with her shield, but the impact staggered her. She cried out in pain, dropping her shield.
Diana pointed her staff. “I cast lightning bolt.” A blindingly bright stroke of lightning struck the troll, knocking it back a step. It shook its head, spraying saliva from a jaw lined with huge fangs.
Frank grasped the holy symbol hanging from his neck. “I cast banish on the troll.”
“Target failed its saving throw. Banish spell successful,” the AI reported.
The troll abruptly stopped fighting and exited through the open doorway.
Chris stared openmouthed at Linda. “How’s your arm?”
She winced. “I think it’s broken. At least the exoskeleton immobilized it. But lower my pain dial to one.”
Diana knelt by the COO, who lay on his back. His exoskeleton gradually shifted his limbs into a mummy pose like Bill. “Mark’s out cold. His head’s bleeding. Damnit. The system’s supposed to protect the players from getting hurt.”
Chris scowled. If word of this leaks, our stock price will tank. “Something’s malfunctioning. I’m calling it. Hey, AI. I request emergency evacuation.”
“Request denied,” replied the AI.
“THIS IS CHRIS JAMES, THE FUCKING CEO. I AUTHORIZE AN IMMEDIATE EVACUATION.”
“Request denied.”
Chris threw his sword to the ground. “Shit.” He paced. “We’ve gotta find the nearest emergency exit. If we see a monster, run the other way.”
A woman wearing chainmail and a barbute helmet appeared at the same doorway through which the party had passed. “Looks like you guys are in quite a pickle.” She held a tablet computer.
“That’s the understatement of the year.” Linda eyed the tablet. “Can you help us find an exit?”
Debbie nodded. “Sure. You help me, and I’ll help you.”
Chris frowned. “What does that mean? Who are you?”
The newcomer grinned. “Those questions are intertwined. My name’s Debbie.” She removed her helmet. At Chris’s blank stare she added, “Really? You don’t recognize me? Well, I did change my hair. And I guess when you’ve screwed over so many people in your life, it’s hard to remember every one of them.”
Frank tilted his head. “Hold on. Debbie…Wilson? The software architect?”
“Yup. You know, the one who helped design the technology that made you all millionaires.” She scowled. “And the one you screwed out of the stock options she earned. Ten times over.”
Chris picked up his sword. “So, you’re just an extortionist?”
Debbie shrugged. “Technically, it’s not extortion to demand what I’m due.”
“Screw you.” The frowning CEO strode toward Debbie.
She tapped her tablet to set Chris’s pain level to ten. “I cast magic missile at Chris.”
Chris crumpled to the floor next to his sword, convulsing from the agonizing electrical shocks administered by his exoskeleton.
Bill, Frank, Linda, and Diana stared openmouthed.
Debbie tapped her tablet to cancel the spell’s effect on Chris’s exoskeleton.
The CEO, now no longer in agony, sat up, eyes radiating hatred.
“So, Chris, are you ready now to make restitution?”
His face flushed with fury. “How much?”
“I calculated that my options, had you not withheld them, would now be worth about $2.5 million. But let’s add interest, compensatory damages for emotional distress, and punitive damages for being such a butt-munch. Rounding up, let’s call it $100 million.”
“Are you out of your mind? No way.”
Debbie smiled. “Your net worth’s over ten times that. Be logical…and consider your own selfish interests. It’s your most honed skill, after all. Isn’t losing ten percent better than losing a hundred percent when robots with overridden safety protocols bash in that pretty face?”
A sly grin appeared on Chris’s face. “Fine. We’d have go to a bank office. Get us out of here and I promise I’ll go there with you.”
Debbie laughed. “Ah, Chris. After all you’ve done, do you really think I trust you?”
“I cast lightning bolt at Debbie,” cried Diana.
The holographic lightning illuminated Debbie…who smirked. “My exoskeleton won’t inflict pain from your spells.” She cancelled the shock’s from Bill’s exoskeleton. “Chris can access his Morgan Stanley account online. I just need the username and password.”
“Screw you.”
Debbie wrinkled her face. “No thanks. You’re not my type. That’s fine, I’ve got plenty of time to kill. “I cast magic missiles at…”
“Don’t!” screamed Chris. “I’ll tell you. But you’ll never spend a dime before you’re arrested. We know your name and the FBI can freeze whatever account you plan to transfer the funds into.”
Debbie sighed and shook her head. “You really didn’t get your money’s worth from your Wharton education. First, don’t end a sentence with a preposition. Second, I have multiple passports to and bank accounts in non-extradition treaty countries.” She took a bow. “Like I said, I do my homework. Your credentials, please.”
Chris swore but gave the information to Debbie. “You realize that the bank uses use two-factor authentication to–”
Debbie raised a finger. “Hold that thought. Your phone’s vibrating. She removed the CEO’s phone from her pouch to read the six-digit code and type it into the tablet. “There we go.” After transferring the funds and crushing the phone underfoot, she smiled. “Well, this has been a very enriching experience. I hope you’ve learned something too, Chris.”
“Screw you.”
“What an expansive vocabulary. Do you kiss your mom with that filthy mouth?”
Chris stood, fists clenched. “You got your money. Now, lead us to the closest exit.”
Debbie smirked. “Ah, not quite yet. I’ll need time to get well away before you alert the authorities. Oh, and I want some time to compose an email to the major media outlets. I think the public and shareholders deserve to know what happened here today.” She raised her eyebrows in mock surprise. “Two of LiveAction’s executives hurt at the company’s premier attraction. The stock market’s notoriously hard to predict, but I imagine LiveAction shares will take quite a hit. Good thing I bought a bunch of put options.”
A drop in stock price would hurt all the executives. They exchanged glances.
“I’ve programmed the exits to unlock at 8 a.m. tomorrow,” Debbie continued. “You can leave then.”
Diana sneered. “Except we won’t last the night because you said the monsters’ safety protocols have been overridden.”
Debbie raised her hand. “I’m not interested in hurting any of you. I just want what I was owed. Once I’m outside, I’ll deactivate the traps and monsters. All you guys have to do is relax until tomorrow.”
Chris’s face flushed. “Screw that. Get the tablet,” he shouted, leaping to his feet.
Linda hurled her sword at Debbie and charged.
Chris did the same. He knew a sword was an ineffective missile weapon, and that the dulled blade wouldn’t stab or cut. But he hoped it would distract Debbie long enough for them to close the distance and wrest the tablet from her.
Diana cried, “I cast color spray at Debbie.” Though Debbie’s exoskeleton didn’t react, the dazzling flashes of holographic light temporarily blinded her.
“I cast silence,” said Frank, hoping that while his “magic” wouldn’t suppress actual sounds, the spell might be interpreted by the AI to ignore Debbie’s auditory inputs.
Twirling through the air, Linda’s sword passed harmlessly over Debbie’s shoulder.
“I cast –” The pommel of Chris’s thrown sword struck Debbie’s forehead, interrupting her spell and causing her to lose her grip on the tablet. It fell to the flagstones with an ominous crack.
As Debbie squatted to scoop up the tablet, Linda tackled her to the floor, soon joined by Chris and Frank.
Frank yanked the tablet out of Debbie’s tight grasp.
Chris glared. “Who’s screwed now, bitch?”
“Uh, boss?” said Frank.
“What now?”
Frank held up the tablet. “The screen’s blank.”
“Are you shitting me?” Chris stomped his foot. “Maybe it shut off. Press the power button.”
Frank complied. “No luck.”
Debbie shook her head. “I guess the answer to your question, Chris, is we’re all screwed.”
Chris’s face purpled. He aimed a kick at Debbie, but Frank intervened.
“Get a hold of yourself, man. Think this through. Without her tablet, Debbie can’t unlock the exits or control the monsters. But, the AI remains operational. Diana and I can still cast spells that will affect monsters. They’ll still take damage if we smack them with our weapons. We stopped that troll, after all.” He pointed at Debbie. “She knows the floor plan and could lead us to a room with a single door. Then we barricade ourselves in and wait until morning for the exits to unlock.”
“Smart,” said Diana, nodding.
Debbie sighed. “It is clever, and I’m willing to try because it’s our only chance, but…”
Frank ran a hand over the top of his head. “But what, Debbie?”
“I overrode all the safety protocols. There are some nasty monsters wandering around.” Debbie held her head in her hands. “With the safety settings shut off, they’ll find us and they’ll kill us.”
“Barricading ourselves in a room does sound like our least bad option,” Bill volunteered from the floor.
Chris sighed. “Take us to that room, Debbie.” Plus, in front, you’ll be the first to get hurt.
Debbie led the group through the doorway taken by the troll, with Chris and Diana carrying the unconscious Mark, and Frank dragging Bill by the shoulders. With a broken left arm, Linda brought up the rear.
The corridor ended in a “T” intersection. Debbie eased forward to glance left and right. Identical twenty-foot hallways lit by wall-mounted torches terminated at closed wooden doors. She pointed toward the left-hand corridor and took a step. The sound of groaning hinges from the right-hand door halted her.
The right-hand door eased open. A man-sized corpse shambled into the hallway, its body wound with linen wrappings inscribed with necromantic markings. Gem-encrusted golden jewelry adorned its neck and wrists.
“What the fuck is that?” asked Chris.
Frank’s eyes widened. “It’s a mummy.”
“Shit.” Debbie pointed. “Everyone go through the left-hand door. Now!” While the others rushed past her, Debbie yanked a torch from a wall bracket and hurled it at the feet of the limping creature. “I try to set the mummy on fire,” she informed the AI via Bluetooth. Not waiting for a response, she threw a second torch, and bolted after the executives as holographically projected flames wreathed the monster.
“Mummy successfully set on fire,” reported the AI.
Debbie joined the others in a round room thirty feet across with a six-foot diameter pit gaping at its center. Stone gargoyles lined the walls. A doorway stood on the far side of the room.
“Don’t touch any of the statues and stay away from that pit,” warned Debbie.
“Let’s keep moving” said Linda, heading for the door.
“Stop!” shouted Debbie. “Don’t touch that door.” She stepped in front of Linda. “I check the door for traps.”
“Perception test passed,” replied the AI. “Arrow trap detected.”
“I attempt to disable the trap.”
“Dexterity test passed. Trap disabled.”
Debbie opened the door. “Let’s go. This is our Alamo.” She led them into a rectangular crypt-like room forty feet long and twenty feet wide. Twelve black coffins lay in niches carved into the longer walls, six to a side. Two wall-mounted torches did not fully illuminate the room.
A charnel stench wafted over the group as they reluctantly shuffled into the space.
Chris’s nose wrinkled, and Diana gagged.
Debbie shut the door behind them. “It’s the only room on this level with just one door. It may stink, but it’s our best chance of surviving.”
Chris, Frank, and Diana eased the unconscious COO and immobilized CFO onto the floor in the center of the room, relieved to set down their burdens and free their arms to wield weapons.
Debbie pointed at the coffins. “We’ll need to barricade the door with those.”
“You’ve got to be kidding.” Diana sighed.
Ignoring her, Debbie continued. “Do NOT open any of those coffins. They could contain loot, but they might hold a monster that awakens if the lid’s raised.”
“Might?” Chris set his fists on his hips. “You’re not sure?”
Debbie shook her head. “The location of monsters is randomly determined at the start of each adventure.”
She guided Linda by her uninjured arm to the doorway. “Until the barricade’s finished, stand here and listen at the door. Warn us if anything’s coming.”
Linda’s face paled, but she nodded.
Debbie faced Chris. “You, me, Frank, and Diana will move the coffins.” She indicated the closest one with a tilt of her head.
No one had any better ideas. With a grunt, the four lifted a heavy wooden coffin, taking small steps toward the door. They set the coffin crosswise at the base of the door. “Alright, let’s grab another one.”
As they moved toward the second coffin, a deep growl stopped Debbie in her tracks. “Look out.” She grabbed Diana’s arm, yanking her backward.
The coffin lid swung open to reveal sharp teeth lining the front edges of the top and base. A tentacular purple tongue emerged from the hideous rectangular mouth, writing and dripping viscous saliva. It snapped its jaw shut and lurched out of the niche.
“What the fuck!” said Chris, backpedaling.
“Hit it with spells and arrows,” shouted Debbie. “I cast cone of cold at the mimic.” A holographic shimmering cone emanated from her outstretched hand toward the creature.
Chris unslung the longbow from his shoulder and launched holographic arrow after arrow as the creature snarled.
“I cast lightning bolt at the mimic,” cried Diana. A holographic flash struck the animated coffin, setting it on fire. It quivered and stopped moving.
“Nice work,” said Bill from the floor. “I know this is an odd suggestion, but I think you should tuck Mark and I into those empty niches. We’d be safer and out of your way in a fight if a monster manages to get through the door.”
Frank nodded. “Makes sense to me. Would you help, Diana?”
Watching the pair, Chris waved his hand dismissively. “Whatever.”
Once Frank and Diana repositioned Bill and Mark, the barricade-building resumed. They set the second coffin atop the first and went to gather a third.
“Shit,” said Linda, standing next to the door. “Something with heavy footsteps is headed our way.”
“Everyone spread out and get ready,” warned Debbie.
CRACK.
A massive fist punched a ten-inch diameter hole in the door.
THUD.
Something massive slammed against the door, grinding it and the coffins inward a few inches.
Linda scrambled aside, yanking from a pocket the “holy water” flask Frank had given her.
Shoving the door fully open, a minotaur bellowed, its rage echoing off the stone walls. The beast was as massive as the troll, with two-foot-long curved horns on its head, a body covered in brown fur, and legs ending in cloven hooves.
“I cast guiding bolt on the minotaur,” cried Frank. A flash of light struck the monster.
Chris fired arrows as the beast ducked to clear the doorway.
Diana pointed. “I cast magic missile at the minotaur.”
Magical bolts struck the minotaur. It roared in agony, staggering further into the room.
Linda slipped behind it and poured the vodka from her flask on the minotaur’s back.
As Linda scurried away, Debbie said, “I cast blight at the minotaur.” Dark waves of energy washed over the creature.
It roared and charged at Frank.
The CIO swung his war hammer, but the minotaur ignored the blow on its shoulder and trampled Frank to the floor as the others scattered.
“Chris,” yelled Linda. “Use your lighter to set its fur on fire.”
Debbie nodded. “Do it, Chris. Diana and I will distract it. I cast lightning bolt at the minotaur.” Another holographic bolt staggered the minotaur.
“I cast magic missile at the minotaur,” said Diana. Nothing happened. “Shit.”
“You’ve used up your magic missile allotment,” said Debbie.
The minotaur charged Diana.
She screamed, diving out of the way at the last moment.
“I cast invisibility at Chris,” said Diana. “It can’t see you now, Chris. Light it up.”
Chris crept toward the minotaur, which looked for its next victim. The robot’s software would not allow the minotaur to react to the presence of an “invisible” player. The CEO set the vodka-soaked fur on fire with his lighter and retreated.
The minotaur roared, turning to face Chris, who the AI now deemed visible since he had made an attack.
Debbie pointed. “I cast darkness on the minotaur.” She waved to get the others’ attention. “It can’t see now. Don’t make any noise.”
The flaming, blinded minotaur roared, charging in the direction of Debbie’s voice.
She dodged to the left as the monster rumbled by, slamming into a wall. Its burning fur ignited the rubber “skin” underneath, giving off noxious black fumes. But the flame-wrapped minotaur stopped moving.
“We did it. The heat fried its circuits,” said Debbie. “Clever, Linda. Check on Frank while the rest of us barricade the door again. Hurry.”
A moment later, Linda gasped. “Jesus Christ! Frank’s dead.”
“Are you sure?” asked Chris.
“It cracked his skull like an egg, so yes, I’m pretty fucking sure.”
Diana raised a hand to her mouth. Tears ran down her cheeks.
Chris stabbed his finger at Debbie. “This is all on you.”
Debbie flipped him off. “If you had let me go, I would have shut down all the robots and prevented this shitshow. It was your greed that doomed us.”
“You guys can argue later. Right now, you should restore the barricade before something else shows up,” said Bill from his niche.
Diana sobbed as she helped Chris and Debbie stack coffins in front of the door, two-high and four-deep. They had no way to repair the punched hole.
“We should alternate keeping watch,” Linda suggested. “I’ll go first.”
*~*~*
Near the end of the second watch, Debbie glanced through the hole. She tensed. “Damn. Damn. Damn.”
Sitting against a wall, Chris looked up. “What?”
“Two big demons. Horns, wings, talons, barbed tails, forked polearms. Strong as hell, and they can hurl flame. They’ll have no trouble smashing through our barricade.”
“Then we pound the assholes with spells,” replied the CEO.
Debbie shook her head. “They have magic resistance. They’ll barely notice our spells. We’ll have to physically fight them.”
***
At 8 a.m. the following morning, the video feeds reactivated, the monsters shut down, and the dungeon doors unlocked per Debbie’s programming.
Noting a scene of real-life carnage on a security camera, LiveAction staff rushed to the coffin room. “Holy shit,” exclaimed an Experience Guide, losing his breakfast upon seeing the bloody pile of executives in various states of dismemberment.
“Help,” uttered a weak voice from the bottom of the heap.
The staff separated the bodies to uncover Debbie.
Unknown to the executives, she had cast invisibility on herself, resulting in the demons ignoring her. After the monsters departed, she removed her armor and weapons, hiding them in a coffin. She piled the others’ bodies and burrowed beneath them.
*~*~*
Henry Herz has written short stories for Daily Science Fiction, Weird Tales, Pseudopod, Metastellar, Titan Books, Highlights for Children, Ladybug Magazine, and anthologies from Penguin-Random House, Albert Whitman, Blackstone Publishing, Third Flatiron, Brigids Gate Press, Baen Books, elsewhere. He’s edited ten anthologies and written fourteen picture books. www.henryherz.com
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